Suicide – When did you last talk about it?
When did you last talk to someone about your mental health? How do you bring it up – like you would any other topic? “Oh, by the way, I’m struggling right now”. Do you mask it instead? Do you ask how they are?
These conversations are so important in holding hope for people, and sharing that there is support out there. When we’re in the midst of a suicidal episode, having an honest conversation means so, so much. We need to start the conversation. Thoughts of engaging with suicide-related behaviour are not a choice. People don’t choose to go through these incredibly tough times. We need to recognise that, and be there to support our friends, family, and those around us if or when this happens to them.
Nightlines are there for these hard times. When it’s the middle of the night and you don’t know what to do or where to go, Nightline volunteers listen. We are there when a student calls and doesn’t know what to say. We’re there when a student calls and hangs up immediately, too nervous to talk or hold on. Nightline is there, ready to ask questions or listen, to talk through how you’re feeling or what is going on in your life, and to ask the direct questions that can feel too daunting to bring up with others. In this space, we can show you that someone cares. Someone is listening. Someone is there for you.
What can we do in these times?
It can be over dinner, while you’re watching TV, or when you’re studying together when someone starts to open up. What’s important is to listen to what they say, and thank them for trusting you. Start talking about what’s going on under the surface. You can bring up the word suicide without asking directly if they’re feeling suicidal. This in itself helps those around you know that it’s ok to openly talk about where they’re at.
This World Suicide Prevention Day, will you ask your friends, “How are you doing? How are you really doing?” Will you be brave enough to start the conversation? You don’t have to have all the answers. You need to listen, to be there, and to hold that safe space.
If you don’t feel like you can talk to your friends about how you’re feeling, we recommend calling your local Nightline in term time (Find your Nightline here), or Samaritans anytime of day or night on 116 123.
If you want tips on how to support your friends better, have a look at the Charlie Waller Trust. They have provided us with thorough training on how to support callers with suicidal behaviours many, many times.
